All the beauty and splendor of the Taj Mahal and right outside its large balcony sits a huge river...filled with sewage and trash.  Makes no sense to me...and this river, as are most rivers in India, is a sacred spot where rituals of purification are performed and where loved ones ashes are thrown.

So today we began traveling at 7am and returned to our rooms around 11pm.  It was an incredibly exhausting day…6 hours to Agra to see the Taj Mahal and Agra Fort and then 4.5 hours back.  I felt pretty nauseous all day because of the travel.  And someone has stopped praying for my toilet experiences J after two weeks of mainly rice and soupy curry…I am in need of some broccoli and fiber!  Today I had to pay to use a bathroom (very common here) and the floor was sopping wet…not sure what it was, but GROSS.  I opened a stall door and to my surprise the stall was filled waist high with trash and a rat jumped off the top of it.  I screamed and the guys in my group heard me across to their side.  Needless to say I am ready for some good ole American bathrooms and American food!

I have really tried to embrace the differences here, as I was encouraged to.  I have tried to see beauty in all the experiences.   Yet I must admit that I am overwhelmed by how unfamiliar all of this country and its culture is to me.  I am longing for something familiar at this point.  In the midst of all our political drama back home I am struck by the fact that you have come to a country like this you have no idea how thankful we should be for the government we do have.  We have decent roads.  We have police who actually enforce laws.  Our communities have clean water, trash pick up and animal shelters. Our restaurants have FDA rating and regulations for handling our food.  We don’t have garbage dumps anywhere and everywhere.  We don’t have street vendors bombarding us constantly to haggle for a deal

I am struck by the lack of emotion I have been able to feel.  It has been hard to really sit and think about all I have seen.   I just have the images running through my mind.  It feels almost as if a wall has been built around my heart.  I am numb in some sense by this point.  I need a few days or months to assimilate this experience and figure out what to do with it.

I have heard much about Islam and Hinduism, which has been interesting, but I am missing some Jesus.  I have never experienced that feeling before on a trip like this.  But before have been in places where Christianity is a major religion.  Tomorrow my group will head to a Methodist Church to celebrate World Communion with all of you.  And while it means another early morning and I need sleep…I am not sure I have been so ready to take communion before.  And just the thought of that makes my eyes well up.  I need to experience some beauty and some grace…and while I know God is present and around everywhere here…tomorrow I look forward to experiencing the mystery of a sacrament that transcends place and time…even in India.   And I am betting that in that moment my heart is able to find a safe place to breath deep and exhale some of the stored up emotion that seems locked inside me.   

May we all experience God’s movement in the world tomorrow as we drink from the same cup!